Another year, another milestone.

Hello Medicare if you are still out there

65

Yesterday was a milestone birthday.

My almost 91-year-old father and I were talking about how old I was and how that made him practically ancient. That was on Monday. He didn’t remember to call or text on my birthday because that is his reality. And that part is sad for me.

Our Monday shopping trip to get him groceries for breakfasts that he makes for himself took us to Aldi, a major favorite for him. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with the quarter for the cart, but we made that work. Inside, he looked at all the things he used to buy when he was living on his own and cooking for himself. Food that sparked memories. We looked for some of his favorites. And decided that none of that needed to come with us. Except for the cookies. The caramel coconut fudge cookies. He snagged a package to take home for later. I snagged a package for my youngest daughter because she used to always look for them in his pantry.

I took him to Aldi because they have good values on basic things. I was stocking up the little food pantry I started in my town by the community garden. I put things in weekly, and others do too. It is a leave what you can, take what you need sort of place. Recently, we have seen the need outpace the donations. So I stocked up in the cart for things to add. Dried beans and lentils, canned soup, and cereal with a few sugar ones for the two young girls I met when I was working in the garden. Mac and cheese, pasta, canned fruit, rice mixes, peanut butter, and jelly. All staples, something that would feed a tummy and a heart, knowing that someone cared enough to help even if they had never met. I will also add things that SNAP benefits don’t cover: dish soap, toilet paper (yes, you really can’t buy toilet paper), toothbrushes, and toothpaste.

As we got to the checkout, Dad wanted to pay for the stuff I was getting. He said he doesn’t have a lot of opportunities to help at this point in his life, and he wanted to. I thanked him. We packed our bags, sorting the stuff he bought for himself, the stuff we got for the pantry, and the few things I bought for myself. As it was getting close to his lunch time, I took him back home. Then I went and stocked the pretty empty pantry. I was happy to see that it was looking full again and that someone could find items they might need.

Yesterday, my birthday, I went to the grocery store to purchase some things. I was proud that I decided that getting an entire cake for myself was probably not that good a choice, so I left the chocolate cake there. (A few hours later, I was second-guessing that choice as one does, but it was made.)

As I was leaving the parking lot, I saw this young woman with a sign asking for money. Many thoughts ran through my head. There is a narrative that seems to be around people who are begging in this way. Would the money actually be used to buy food? Was this just her way to scam people out of money? I stopped my thoughts, and then I stopped my car. I pulled some money out of my wallet and gave it to her. I gave her money with no emotional strings attached to do with as she needed, as she knows her needs best. Her smile was so big, and she was so grateful. I told her I hoped it helped, and I wished for better days for her.

If someone, for whatever reason, needs to stand in a parking lot begging for money and I have some I can share, I decided in that moment that she was an adult who could decide what she used it for. I was just grateful I was in a position to help.

I think for my 65th year, I am going to be more thoughtful about giving when I have more than I need. And it really started with that woman in the parking lot who now feels more seen.